


i like you

by wendywrites



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2054778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendywrites/pseuds/wendywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a failed confession, but it ends with the start of something new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. someone like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackson is surprised one day when youngjae confesses to him via love letter. it works out even though it doesn't work out.

“Jackson-hyung, this is for you!” Jackson Wang glances up from the battered notebook on his lap to see a head of dark hair bowed before him and two hands holding out a white envelope. The head rises a bit until Jackson can see the face of Choi Youngjae peaking at him.

 

“Ah, Youngjae, what is it?” Jackson plucks the ear buds out of his ears and closes the battered notebook containing hastily scribbled lyrics. Youngjae bows his head once more and gestures to the envelope; Jackson frowns and eyes it warily. When he was a child, the news of his grandfather’s death came in an envelope just like this one. Later, the official test results that his snuffed out any hope of having a career in fencing came in a similar white envelope. It might be a bit ridiculous, but Jackson instantly feels uneasy when he sees white envelopes.

 

Youngjae must have noticed his hesitance because he soon spoke up, still bent over.

 

“Hyung, I don’t have any expectations. I’d just like you to read this and understand.”

 

“That’s cryptic,” Jackson mutters, but he pries the envelope out of Youngjae’s clammy hands. His missive finally delivered, Youngjae all but sprints towards the entrance to the roof.

 

Jackson cocks an eyebrow at the younger boy’s antics and turns the envelope over in his hand. He rolls his eyes at the English script ‘To: Jaeckson Wang. From: Your favourite student’ written on the flap.

 

“The little bastard spelled my name wrong,” Jackson scoffed. Still, he couldn’t help but crack a smile. Of all the other students he’s tutored in English, Youngjae is definitely the most willing and eager to learn. One of the things Jackson likes most about him is how he isn’t afraid to try out new words and phrases, even if his pronunciation is way off. At times he’ll even surprise Jackson with some American slang.

 

Youngjae seemed really insistent on Jackson opening and reading its contents, but Jackson’s fear of white envelopes wins out. He stuffs the envelope and his lyric book into his bag and makes his way down from the roof.

 

The envelope weighs only about a gram, but Jackson’s bag somehow feels much heavier as he leaves through the school gates. Mark had better be online when he gets home; Jackson knows he’ll need a push to open the damn thing and find out what got Youngjae so antsy.

 

 

 

“I need you to tell me to open this envelope,” Jackson says as soon as Mark’s face appears on his computer screen.

 

“Hi, Jackson, nice to see you too,” Mark says dryly.

 

“We have met before, right?” Jackson sasses back.

 

“You need to open that envelope,” Mark sighs. That’s the best thing about Mark; he somehow manages to never get sick of being friends with Jackson despite all the bullshit that comes with it. Which is why he’s the best friend Jackson has ever had, because he honestly can’t help himself sometimes.

 

“Again, but with feeling!”

 

“Jackson, open the fucking envelope.”

 

“Alright, alright. Gosh, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

 

“No, but I kissed yours,” Marks grins with a wink.

 

“Mark Tuan! I am scandalised,” Jackson gasps, dramatically clutching a nonexistent pearl necklace.

 

“Quit stalling and open it.”

 

Using a knife he grabbed from the kitchen, Jackson cuts open the envelope, revealing a folded sheet of paper.

 

“It’s a letter,” he says.

 

“Who from?” Mark asks.

 

“Youngjae, the kid I teach English,” Jackson says distractedly, his eyes taking in the words on the page. Although his Korean conversation skills have improved, reading is still a bit slow.

 

“Youngjae? That’s the awkward one, right?”

 

“Mark!” Jackson looks up, pausing his reading.

 

“What? You’re the one who called him that,” Mark points out.

 

“Yeah, but I said it with love. It just sounds mean coming from you.”

 

“What did he write?” There’s a long pause before Jackson finally answers.

 

“Oh God, it’s a love letter. He wrote me a love letter.”

 

 

 

It’s been a couple of hours since he read Youngjae’s letter, but Jackson can’t stop thinking about it. He knew the younger boy was fond of him, and clearly looked up to him, but he wasn’t expecting _that_. Jackson can’t help but obsessively call to mind every memory of their interactions, desperate to see if there were signs of Youngjae’s feelings that he had missed or misinterpreted.

 

 

_Jackson rushed down the corridor as fast as he could, a bag of bungeoppang clenched in his right hand, as he glanced at the watch on his left. He was running more than a few minutes late for his usual study session with Youngjae, and the younger boy was probably going to be upset. Hopefully the snack would be enough to mollify him._

_“Before you say anything, know that I wouldn’t be late if I hadn’t stopped to get food for you because I’m such a good hyung,” Jackson huffed after bursting through the door. Instead of the complaining that he anticipated, Youngjae didn’t even look up at him, gaze focused on a sheet of paper clutched in his hand._

_“Youngjae?” Shutting the door behind him, Jackson dumped his school bag and the bag of food on an adjacent desk and sat down at the desk in front of Youngjae. He lightly tapped Youngjae on the crown of his head. Youngjae only lowered his head more. He was about to crack a joke when he noticed the tears dripping onto the desk. Glancing down at the now unobstructed paper, Jackson saw the ‘D’ in the top left hand corner._

_“Youngjae,” Jackson gently placed his hand on his head, ignoring the younger boy’s slight flinch “I’m going to tell you something that my father told me the first time I got destroyed in a fencing match.” Youngjae sniffed and lifted his head a bit; just enough that Jackson could see his eyes._

_“That’s right, destroyed. I was the champion of Asia, but even I got my ass handed to me a few times. It hurt so much because I had gone into the match so confidently, but in the end I wasn’t even able to get five points. When my dad took me aside I thought he would tell me some platitude or say he was disappointed. He did neither. He said that it was his fault.” Youngjae sat up a bit more, confusion etched onto his face._

_“I know right, I was the one who was out there, but it’s his fault? He explained to me that as my teacher, he was responsible for making sure that I was fully prepared before each match, and if I didn’t win it was because he had failed to prepare me. I still don’t know how much I believe that, but I’m saying this to you now because I trust my dad: this grade is my fault.”_

_Youngjae had calmed down a bit during his little speech, but at those last words, his face crumpled up again._

_“Hyung…” he croaked._

_“No, listen to me. You studied your ass for this test right?” Young nods. “Then you did what you were supposed to. The failure is on my end. I’ll work hard to do better by you next time.” Jackson bowed his head slightly._

_“Hyung,” Youngjae was full-on crying again._

_“Come on, don’t cry over this. It’s just one test, and I’m going to make you ace the next one.” Jackson took his handkerchief out of his pocket and began drying Youngjae’s tears._

_“Come on, I brought that bread you like so much. Eat and let’s go over where I failed you in this stupid test.” Youngjae gave him a watery smile and blew his nose into the handkerchief._

_“And you can keep that.”_

_“Thank you,” he smiled sheepishly. “Never give up!” Youngjae declared in English, sounding a lot more like his usual self._

_“Never give up!” Jackson repeated in a reversal of their roles._

 

Staring up at the ceiling Jackson wonders if that was the day Youngjae fell in love with him. Did Youngjae go home and rub one out with his handkerchief? Does he keep it under his pillow at night? Maybe he’s just being ridiculous.

 

Huffing out a breath, Jackson sifts his gaze to the sheet of paper sitting on his chest. Part of him wants to burn it, but that won’t make him un-know Youngjae’s feelings, plus it just seems kind of mean. What Jackson needs to figure out now is how he’s going to approach Youngjae the next time he sees him. The last thing he wants is for things to be awkward between them, but it’s not like he can pretend nothing’s changed.

 

Sitting up, Jackson reaches for his mobile phone and calls JB. Im Jaebum is his closest friend after Mark, he’s known Youngjae since middle school, and he’s one of the most sensible people that Jackson knows. Surely, he could give some helpful advice.

 

“Hello, Jackson?”

 

“JB, I need your help. Youngjae confessed to me and I’m freaking out.”

 

“He did?! Wow, I didn’t think he’d actually do it…’

 

“What do you mean? You knew?” To think Jackson thought he was through with shocking revelations for the day.

 

“Of course I knew. I put the pieces together a while ago, but I waited to see what Youngjae would do. About two weeks ago he told me and asked what I thought about him telling you. I told him you probably didn’t like him back and he looked so upset that I thought that would be the end of it.”

 

“How long ago did you figure it out?” Jackson asks, but ‘How long has Youngjae liked me?’ is what he really wants to know.

 

“Long enough. So, what are you going to do?”

 

“That’s what I called to ask you!”

 

“So I’m guessing you don’t like him back?” JB phrases it like a question even though they both know it’s a statement. “Well, the one thing you’re not going to do is break his heart,” JB says sternly.

 

Jackson wants to get defensive, but he knows the older boy is just looking out for Youngjae, so he swallows the remark on the tip of his tongue and instead says, “Definitely not.”

 

“Good, good.” Jackson can practically hear him nodding over the phone. “Well, you could just let him know that even though you don’t like him back like that, you value him as a friend and will give him space if he needs it.”

 

“Okay, that sounds good. Should I wait for our next study session or should I call him up now?”

 

“Wait; give him some time to calm down. If you think you’re frazzled by getting confessed to, think of how anxious he probably is.”

 

Jackson sighs in frustration. He feels like waiting will only prolong the tension, but he did call to get JB’s advice, so he may as well hear him out.

 

“So, if you basically told him it was a bad idea to tell me, why did he do it anyway?”

 

“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him yourself.”

 

“Great,” Jackson says flatly.

 

 

 

It was one of the hardest things he’s had to do, but somehow Jackson has stopped himself from contacting Youngjae for four whole days. It was especially difficult yesterday, the first day back from the weekend. Although they’re in completely different years, their school isn’t so large that they couldn’t cross paths even if they didn’t want to. But Jackson didn’t get to be a number one fencer by being weak willed, and so he held out, and now it’s Tuesday evening, one of their two designated study days.

 

He was so anxious to get it over with this morning, but now Jackson strolls languidly down the corridor, almost dragging his feet. He’s brought bungeoppangwith him again, this time in his bag. He hopes Youngjae won’t cry this time; he doesn’t have a handkerchief to offer again.

 

“Youngjae?” Jackson calls out almost timidly as he enters their usual room.

 

“Jackson-hyung,” Youngjae nods. He looks a bit abashed, but at least he’s looking Jackson in the eye.

 

As Jackson approaches his desk, he notices the test paper sitting on Youngjae’s desk. This time in the corner is the letter ‘A’. He smiles despite himself.

 

“Good job, Youngjae. You didn’t get 100% so there’s still room for improvement of course, but you’ve done well.”

 

“You prepared me well,” Youngjae smiles back shyly. Jackson shakes his head.

 

“You earned this victory on you own. I understand what my dad said now.”

 

“Hyung,” Jackson doesn’t know if it’s the sparkle in Youngjae’s eyes, the softness of his smile, or the tremor in his voice, but it’s too much.

 

“Look, Youngjae, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. No matter what I want us to be friends, you just have to know that that’s all I can be to you – your friend.” Youngjae cringes and looks down briefly. Jackson worries that his words came out harsher than he intended and is about to speak again, but then Youngjae looks up.

 

“I know. I’ve always known. I hoped, yes, but I really didn’t expect anything from the start.”

 

“Then why confess?” It’s been on Jackson’s mind ever since his conversation with JB. Youngjae shrugs.

 

“Partly, I wanted to get it off my chest. Mostly, I guess I just wanted you to know that someone loves you.” Jackson nearly chokes on his own saliva. It’s one thing to read the words and quite another thing to hear the words said to you face-to-face. Youngjae shrugs again.

 

“I know you want people to think highly of you, so I guess I wanted you to know that I do. Even if no-one else does, I do.”

 

Jackson doesn’t know what to say to that so he just nods. There’s a long pause where he stares at the desk in front of him, unable to look directly at Youngjae. Youngjae is the one who breaks the silence.

 

“So, Jackson-hyung, what are we going through today?” Blinking a bit, Jackson reaches into his bag and pulls out the bungeoppang. Youngjae’s expression flickers a bit, but smoothes out.

 

“For doing so well on your test, here’s a treat.”

 

“You’re a good hyung,” he smiles faintly.

 

 

The lesson is noticeable more awkward than any other they’ve had, but they both power through it. Before long, it’s time for them to go home. They separate at the school gates as per usual, but instead of walking home, Jackson watches Youngjae’s retreating back.

 

“Fuck this,” he mutters to himself.

 

“Youngjae-ya!”

 

Youngjae stops and turns around, waiting for Jackson to run up to him. Jackson all but crashes into him while pulling him into a hug. As dazed as he must be, Youngjae manages to recover enough to wrap his arms around Jackson. Jackson has struggled to come up with the right words say – in what is his fourth language no less – and he’s not sure he’s done a good job of it, but he’s great at communicating through touch. He hopes he’s adequately conveyed the one thing he needs Youngjae to know but can’t say right now.

 

Jackson hears Youngjae sniff, but he won’t call him on it because he can feel his own eyes stinging. Pulling away at last, Jackson does his best body gag, the one that always gets the biggest laughs.

 

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Youngjae laughs while wiping his eyes.

 

“Nothing,” Jackson shrugs. “See you later, Youngjae.

 

“See you later, Jackson-hyung.”

 

Youngjae turns and leaves with tears in his tears and a smile on his face. It’s not ideal, but it’s the best Jackson can do for now. And he knows that they’ll be alright, that Youngjae will be alright. And that’s the most important thing.

 

 

 


	2. don't be afraid, it's only love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's been two years since his failed confession and youngjae still isn't over jackson. it's been two years since he was confessed to and jackson still doesn't like youngjae back; he really, totally doesn't.

As the last beats of the song fades into silence, a bead of sweat rolls down Choi Youngjae’s face and falls to the floor. He desperately tries to catch his breath; he auditioned because he wanted to be a singer, he didn’t think it would involve so much dancing. His instructor throws him a small towel and he barely catches it.

“That was better, but you’ve still got a ways to go. Keep practicing.” Youngjae nods while wiping his face. “Well, that’s it for today. You can leave when you’re ready.” Youngjae straightens and dips into a bow.

“Thank you for your hard work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” His instructors bows back and gets his belongings together before leaving.

Youngjae checks his watch and sees that it’s half past eleven. He’s falling behind in at least two classes and he’s got homework to finish, but he doesn’t want to be a scholar. He wants to sing on stage in front of thousands of people and make albums and sell out concerts. Getting the dance right is more important. But first he needs to hydrate his body.

Making his way down the JYP corridor, Youngjae looks at the pictures on the walls of debuted artists and silently vows to himself that one day his picture will be up there. He doesn’t know when, or who will be standing beside him, but it’s going to happen.

“Youngjae-ya!” Youngjae stops on hearing the familiar voice and turns around.

“Hello, Jaebum-hyung.” Jaebum-hyung is one of the debuted artists that he’d like to join on-stage one day. Right beside him is Jinyoung-hyung, the other half of JJ Project. “Hello, Jinyoung-hyung.” Youngjae bows.

Youngjae, we just finished recording and were going to get something to eat. Would you like to join us? It’s our treat.” Youngjae flushes when his stomach voices his opinion. Jaebum-hyung burst out laughing and Jinyoung-hyung simply smiles. He’s tempted to accept the offer, but his clumsy steps and the disappointment in his instructor’s eyes. 

“Thank you for the offer, but…”

“Don’t you dare think of refusing. As your hyung, I command you to come eat with us.” Before Youngjae can speak further, his left and right arms are grabbed by his hyungs and he’s frogmarched back to the practice room. 

“Jinyoung, grab his school bag. I’ll take his duffel.” 

“Can you let me shower at least? I’m still sweaty from practice,” Youngjae mumbles grumpily. 

“You can shower when you get back to the dorm. It’s not like we’re going to some upscale place, plus you don’t even stink at all. Which brand of deodorant do you use? I want to switch to yours,” Jaebum-hyung says with a cheeky smile. 

 

“Bundled up under your coat, no-one will even be able to smell you anyway,” Jinyoung smiles gently and pats his arm.

Youngjae sighs and lets them lead him out of the JYP building and into a small restaurant a few blocks away. The his coat and some residual body heat from his hyungs – who still have their arms wrapped around him – warms him up a bit, but he still shivers a bit in the brisk night air. His body is instantly warmed as he steps into the restaurant. 

“You haven’t been here before right? You should try the jjajangmyeon, it’s delicious,” Jinyoung-hyung says as they sit down. 

“Jinyoung, Youngjae’s a big boy; he can decide what he wants for himself. Right, Youngjae?”

“I was only making a suggestion. You weren’t offended, eh Youngjae?” Jinyoung-hyung holds out his hands in a plea. Youngjae simply shrugs, not wanting to get caught in their antics. Half of the times he’s with them, they act like normal hyungs, but for the other half he feels more like a child tagging along with his parents. 

 

He ends up choosing the jjajangmyeon – Jinyoung-hyung flashes Jaebum-hyung a smug smile while the latter rolls his eyes – because Jinyoung-hyung has good taste and he’s too hungry to bother looking through the menu and choosing something else anyway. The food turns out to be even better than Youngjae was expecting. Mentally, he notes the location of the restaurant and plans to stop by again. Half-way through the meal, Jaebum-hyung’s phone beeps.

“Has Jackson made his decision yet?” Jinyoung-hyung asks through a mouthful of food. Against his will, Youngjae freezes for a second, leaving a string of noodles dangling from his chopsticks. He hastily stuffs them into his mouth and hopes Jaebum-hyung was too preoccupied in replying to the text to notice.

It’s been two years since Youngjae confessed to Jackson-hyung, two years since he was rejected, and eighteen months since he last saw him. After he graduated, Jackson-hyung went back to Hong Kong, and Youngjae thought that would be the last he ever saw of him. Apparently, he’s considering coming back to Korea to pursue a music career. It’s been a month since he found out, but Youngjae still doesn’t know how he feels about that. 

“‘Hide your sisters!! King Jackson returns to the 82 on February 26!!!! Save the date!!’ Looks so,” Jaebum-hyung recites. 

Youngjae gulps down his tea, trying not to choke. He can feel his stomach roiling and his face prickling. His palms are so sweaty that he drops his chopsticks twice before he’s able to get a good grip on them and continue eating. He’d like to think Jaebum-hyung didn’t notice his reaction, but he can feel the older boy’s penetrating stare piercing the top of his head, so he keeps his head down. 

“February, eh? I’ve been hearing about him for so long, I’m looking forward to meeting the infamous Jackson Wang.” Jaebum-hyung simply snickers at his partner. Some small, melodramatic part of Youngjae wants to warn his hyung, to tell him that being with Jackson feels like getting caught in the middle of a lightning storm with no shelter, but he swallows his noodles instead.

The rest of the meal finishes without incident. As they leave the restaurant, Youngjae falls behind his hyungs, his body in the present and his mind in the future. He’s about to bid the two of them goodnight when Jaebum-hyung speaks up.

“Jinyoung-ah, go back to the dorm. Youngjae-ya, come take a walk with me.” Damn. Just when he thought that he’d gotten away.

“It’s pretty late and cold to just be walking around.” Sometimes Jinyoung-hyung’s fussy ways can get a bit overbearing, but right now Youngjae has never been more thankful to him.

“Don’t worry, we won’t be long.” Jinyoung-hyung looks like he wants to say more, but eventually he waves goodbye to them and enters the dorm.

“Come on, Youngjae.” Youngjae feels a firm pressure on the nape of his neck, and he lets himself be led away.

Youngjae knows what Jaebum-hyung wants to talk about, but he’s not in any hurry to start that conversation, so he lets the silence between them stretch for as long as possible.

“So,” Jaebum-hyung eventually drawls, “how do you feel about Jackson coming back?”

Youngjae inhales and exhales deeply, staring up at the sky. He feels a lot of things, that’s the problem.

“Anxious,” he mumbles.

“Excited ‘anxious’ or nervous ‘anxious’?”

“Both,” Youngjae breathes. Jaebum-hyung wraps an arm around his waist and pats his stomach.

“Even now I’m surprised that you actually confessed to him.”

‘So am I,’ Youngjae thinks.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you probably hoped, but I did warn you,” Jaebum-hyung says not unkindly.

“I know,” Youngjae sighs. “Still, I don’t think I regret doing it. Even though I was rejected, there’s a kind of relief I got from letting him know.”

“He wasn’t too hard on you when he turned you down, right?” Jaebum-hyung asks for what must be the tenth time.

“No, no, he was very kind to me.” Youngjae’s voice cracks on the last words, prompting Jaebum-hyung to stop and pull him into a hug. Youngjae can’t help but think of the embrace Jackson had wrapped him up in on that day. It was more crushing, though no less heartfelt than the one Jaebum-hyung was giving him now. Just like he did then, Youngjae closes his eyes and returns the embrace.

“So, you really haven’t gotten over him, eh?” Youngjae feels Jaebum-hyung rubbing his back through his coat. He shakes his head where it’s resting on Jaebum-hyung’s shoulder.

“Jackson-hyung is…very difficult to forget about.”

“Indeed.” Youngjae can hear the smile in his voice. Does he really sound that much like the female lead in a drama?

“Thank you for listening to me, Jaebum-hyung.” Youngjae pulls away at last, trying to regain some masculinity; he comes of age next year after all.

“Anytime.” Jaebum-hyung turns them around and guides him back to his dorm. 

After bidding Jaebum-hyung goodbye, Youngjae heads to the shower and turns up the heat as far as it will go, partly to chase out the chill that has seeped into his bones, and partly in an attempt to clear his mind of thoughts of Jackson-hyung. He succeeds at the former, but fails at the latter. 

When he make sit back to his shared bedroom, he collapses face-first onto the thin mattress he calls his bed. Just before he drifts off to sleep, an alarm goes off in his head, reminding him of his unfinished homework. He’s too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to think straight, so fumbles for his mobile phone and sets his alarm a few hours earlier. Then he puts his head down and knows no more.

 

“Youngjae-ya!”

It’s a dark, moonless night, and his vision is obscured by sheets of pouring rain, but Jackson can clearly see Youngjae’s shining eyes.

“Jackson-hyung…”

Jackson moves forward, entirely unconcerned with the state of his clothes, his socks squelching with each step. When he’s right in front of the other boy, Jackson pulls him into his arms just like he did three years ago.

“Jackson,” Youngjae whispers into his ear.

“I made you wait, forgive me.”  
“Jackson,” Youngjae says a bit louder.

“Youngjae.”

“Jackson!” Jackson doubles over from a hard blow to his stomach.

“Jackson, wake up! We’re already running late!” Jackson looks up to see Mark standing where Youngjae was before.

“Jesus Christ, Mark!” Catapulting up, Jackson pulls his eye mask off to see Mark standing beside his bed, fist raised, presumable to hit him again. 

“We let you sleep longer than you were supposed to, but you really need to get up now.” Jackson nods, rubbing the last bit of sleep out of his eyes. Seemingly satisfied, Mark leaves his room.

Running his hand through his hair, Jackson stared at the raindrops pounding against his window. So that’s why it was raining in his dream. Out of habit, Jackson pats the mattress to check for wet spots. It’s been a long, long, long time since his last accident but it doesn’t hurt to be sure. As for why he was dreaming about Youngjae, it’s probably because today is the day he returns to South Korea. They parted ways as friends, but Youngjae is probably the best human representation of his doubts and anxieties about going back to Korea.

Since he graduated and returned to Hong Kong, he’s sent Youngjae the occasional LINE message, sent greetings through JB, and even called him on his last two birthdays, but seeing him in person will be different. Hopefully three years of distance will have been enough to quench any remaining awkwardness. Jackson hates when things get awkward with one of his friends. He has more friends than the average person will make in their life, but he treasures each and every one of them. 

“Ka Yee, are you ready yet?” His mother pokes her head through the slightly open door. Seeing her sons till in bed, she narrows her eyes and sighs.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,” Jackson babbles, throwing back the covers and jumping up.

“What am I going to do with you?” She shakes her head. Walking inside, she looks around the room, taking in the medals and trophies lining his shelves, and the poster of Aldo Montano up on the wall above his bed.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” She asks with glistening eyes.

“Fencing is over, ma.” It still hurts like hell to say, but it’s the nothing but the truth. He’s had to put his fencing dreams to rest, but he has a new dream to chase, a dream that’s actually his old dream resurrected. 

“Do you love Korea that much? If you want to be a singer, why not do it in China?” Jackson shrugs helplessly. 

“I’d still have to go far away. And the training programmes for idols in Korea are much better, there’s a greater demand for idols there, plus I have a couple friends at JYP already.” She sighs, shoulders slumping a bit. They’ve had this argument many times, and they both know that trying to convince him to change his mind is fighting a losing battle, but he got his stubbornness from her so he knew she’d keep trying anyway. 

“It’ll be alright, I’ll have Mark with me the entire time. Really, you should be more concerned for the people who will have to deal with us.” At that she cracks a smile and chuckles a bit. He closes the rest of the distance between them and wraps her up in a hug. For a minute he closes his eyes and enjoys her solid presence and the soothing sensation of her running her hands through his hair. 

“Alright, time to go now,” she says.

Jackson’s dallied so long that he doesn’t’ have enough to eat breakfast at home. Luckily his mother anticipated this and made him (and Mark, for some reason) a packed lunch to eat in the departure lounge. Being late also has the added benefit of not having to endure a long and probably teary goodbye from his parents. Instead, he gives them both a quick hug and waves goodbye over his shoulder as he and Mark hustle to make it through security clearance. It’s not that Jackson won’t miss them, it’s the exact opposite. He’ll miss them so much that he doesn’t want to start dwelling on being away form them again just yet.

“So, this is it,” Marks says as the fall into the faux leather chairs in the departure lounge.

“Yup.” Jackson wastes no time, immediately digging into his food. If Marks feels like getting chatty and wants to talk about his feelings, then he’s going to have to wait.

“I should have made you teach me more Korean before we left,” he moans.

“Don’t worry about it; you’ll get lessons at the company. You’re not the first foreign trainee JYP has ever had.” Mark is good at languages, good at everything really. He picked up Cantonese easily enough; he’ll probably speak Korean better than Jackson does in a few years. It would piss Jackson if he didn’t love the guy so much. 

“Did you deliberately choose JYP because Youngjae’s a trainee there?” The question is so out of left field that Jackson chokes on his rice. Mark, the bastard, does even try to pat his back or offer him water; he just stares at him with his eyebrows raised. Why are they friends again? 

“I didn’t even know Youngjae became a trainee there until long after we won the audition.” Jackson pauses to clear his throat. “Like, come on, that was a full year before he even auditioned.”

“Okay, fair enough, but you did decided to join after you knew he was there. And, like you said, you waited a whole year before you decided,” Mark points out.

“Why are we even talking about Youngjae,” Jackson tries to deflect.

“You were saying his name in your sleep.” 

Jackson’s glad he didn’t resume finishing his meal, because he would have just choked again.

“I had a dream about him,” Jackson shrugs, aiming for nonchalant. 

“You were dreaming about him?” Mark’s eyebrows rise even more, if it could be believed.

“Let me re-phrase: I had a dream and he just happened to be in it.”

“If you say so.” Mark, thankfully, seems to be willing to drop the subject now. Instead of pressing Jackson further, he simply pops in his ear buds while they wait for the boarding call for their flight.

Jackson wasn’t feeling so hungry anymore, but he dived back into his food with even more gusto than before. He’ll be damn if he lets Mark and his weird insinuations get between him and the last home-cooked meal he’ll have from his mother for a long time. 

Blinking away that last bleak thought, Jackson instead lets his mind drift to happier things like seeing JB again. Jackson won’t admit it to anybody, but JB debuting last year was a significant contributing factor in his decision to go through the JYP auditions. No disrespect to JB, but if he could do it why couldn’t Jackson? He couldn’t fence anymore, but he could still make music. So, he went out for auditions JYP were holding in Hong Kong, convinced Mark to give it a try since he still hadn’t decided on what he was going to study at university. Mark was sceptical from the start, but Jackson had enough faith and confidence for two people. Jackson was so ecstatic at winning that he didn’t even rub it in Mark’s face, not much anyway.

After the euphoria ebbed somewhat, Jackson thought long and hard about what he was going to do next. Although he has a tendency to act impulsively and play around, Jackson takes things are important to him very seriously. Participating in an exchange programme is one thing, this time he would be going to Korea to live and work. And as much as he had confidence in his abilities, being talented doesn’t ensure success. He could go all the way to Korea, spend years training in JYP and still not debut; it’s happened to dozens of other trainees. To be brutally honest, Jackson still worries that that might be his fate that both of his dreams will be shattered, but he’s decided to take a leap of faith and give it a try. 

Soon, a slightly tinny voice is telling them to make their way to the gate to board the plane. Mark takes a comic book out of his bag to read once they’re seated, but Jackson knows he’ll just fall asleep anyway. Closing his eyes, Jackson tries to make himself as comfortable as he can in the confined space. He definitely doesn’t dream about Youngjae greeting him at Incheon airport with a giant bouquet of flowers. 

Roughly three hours later, Jackson wakes to the sensation of the plane touching down on the tarmac. Staring out the small window, he sees his future stretched before him. He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, grabbing Mark’s limp hand and squeezing it. Real life starts today.


	3. start of something new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their start is a bit awkward but somehow jackson doesn't mind.

Jaebum is beyond exhausted after a long day of filming for JJ Project’s comeback promotions, but he musters up as much energy as he can to go visit Jackson. It’s been a couple of weeks since Jackson and his friend Mark arrived in Seoul, and, tired as he is, Jaebum is anxious to see his friend again. 

Jaebum texts him, asking about his whereabouts, expecting him to be back at the dorm by now, but to his surprise the other boy says that he’s still in the practice room. Double checking the digital clock at the top of his phone, Jaebum sees that it is indeed five minutes past two in the morning. He personally knows how much hard work goes into being a trainee, but this seems a bit much. And now Jaebum’s got to go see Jackson, if only to drag him back to the dorm and make him rest. 

Jaebum briefly considers enlisting Jinyoung’s help, but the other boy looks dead on his feet so he decides not to trouble him. There’s something he wants to talk about with Jackson privately anyway.

 

Pushing open the door to the practice room, Jaebum spots five figures dancing under the fluorescent lights. He’s not entirely sure, but it looks a bit like they’re having a dance battle. Jackson is dancing front and centre, of course, with Youngjae and someone he doesn’t recognise cheering behind him. Dancing opposite him is a taller trainee with that trainee from Thailand cheering him on.

For a minute Jaebum forgets why he came, and he just stands bay takes in their performance. Jackson hasn’t been in training long, but he’s a natural dancer and his confidence and stage presence makes up for any technical shortcomings. The tall trainee – what is it Yugyeom? Jaebum thinks he remembers Youngjae mentioning a Yugyeom in his texts – is definitely going to be the official dance machine of whatever group he’s assigned to. 

“Children, children! It’s so late to be making so much commotion!” Jaebum shouts in his grandfather voice, clapping to get their attention. 

“Hyung, hello!” Most of them stop dancing and bow in greeting, but Jackson just bounds over to Jaebum like an excited puppy and pulls him into a sweaty hug, spinning him around. 

“Jaebum! It’s been too long!” Jackson shouts into his ear. Jaebum should probably pull away and try to set a good example for the young ones, but for now he puts aside sunbae/hoobae etiquette and hugs Jackson back with a laugh. He’s missed his energy and charm. 

Seeing the confusion etched on some of their faces, Jaebum tries to recover the situation.

“We know each other from school,” he says vaguely.

“Anyway, it’s pretty late; you kids should probably head back to the dorm.” As if he said a magic spell, most of them start yawning, rubbing their eyes and stretching. 

“Jackson, I want to talk to you when you’re done packing up.”

“Uh, I don’t think I should leave Mark alone,” Jackson says with furrowed brows.

“Mark?” Jaebum instinctively turns to the one unfamiliar face in the room. The other boy raises his hand and bows slightly. 

“Yeah, you see, he still doesn’t understand Korean.” Jackson walks over to Mark and throws his arm around Mark’s shoulders. 

“I don’t speak Korean,” Mark says with a shrug. 

“Very good, Mark. Youngjae, English!” Youngjae looks up with a start.

“I don’t speak Korean,” Youngjae repeats in English. Jackson laughs his signature high-pitched giggle.

“Aren’t my students the best?” Jackson heads over to Youngjae, Mark in tow, and throws his other arm around the younger boy. Youngjae is already flushed and sweaty from jumping around, but Jaebum thinks he gets even redder and sweatier. He narrows his eyes at the sight; this is precisely the sort of thing he wants to discuss with Jackson.

“Alright then, bring Mark along. If he doesn’t understand Korean then he can’t eavesdrop anyway. But we need to talk.” Jackson blinks before speaking to Mark, presumably relaying the message. Mark nods and goes to gather his stuff. Youngjae is staring at him with pleading doe eyes. Jaebum wonders what he should say to get him to leave, but the other trainees save him the trouble.

“Are you coming, Youngjae-hyung?” The Thai one calls from the door, Yugyeom standing beside him.

“You should go with them Youngjae. You probably haven’t eaten, right? Why don’t you take them to that restaurant Jinyoung and I took you to. My treat.” Jaebum takes a few bills out of his wallet and puts it in Youngjae’s hand. Jaebum pats Youngjae on the shoulder, raising his eyebrows. Youngjae’s eyes flicker to Jackson beside him – Jackson who still has his arm around him – looking like he wants to refuse, but he just nods his goodbye to Jackson before turning to leave. Jackson is staring at him with an eyebrow cocked, like he has no idea why Jaebum sent Youngjae away. Jaebum just smiles blandly and motions for him to get his stuff. 

He doesn’t see any sign of Youngjae and the others by the time they leave the building, but Jaebum still exercises some caution and takes Mark and Jackson on one of the more roundabout ways back to the dorm. 

“So, Jackson,” Jaebum drawls as they walk, “It seems like you and Youngjae are getting on well.” He sees Jackson stiffen and pause his steps in his peripheral vision. 

“Yeah, we’re cool,” Jackson says shortly.

 

“You looked a bit more than ‘cool’ to me.”

“I’m sorry; did you want me to ignore him?” Jackson sneers.

“No, I didn’t. I also don’t want you to give him false hope and stop him from getting over you by continually flirting with him.” Jaebum stops walking and turns to glare at Jackson, utilising his full height to loom over him. Jackson steps up to him, unfazed.

“I wasn’t flirting; I’m like that with everyone. And if I was being my usual self with everyone but him, he’d notice and be hurt.”

“But what you’re doing is still going to hurt him in the long run!”

“So what do you want me to do then?!” 

For a long moment the two just glare at each other, neither backing down nor giving way. Then Jaebum turns away and screams his all frustrations into the air. It’s bad for his voice, but he doesn’t know what else to do, he has no argument to counter Jackson’s. Bending over, Jaebum rests his hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. For a long time Jaebum’s huffing and two dogs barking in the distance are the only sounds in the air. 

“If you’re acting like this does this mean Youngjae still…still likes me?” Jackson’s voice is so timid and hesitant his question is almost carried away in the breeze.

“Yes,” Jaebum sighs.

“But it’s been three years?”

“I know.” Jaebum straightens, running a hand through his hair. 

Jackson is just standing there, looking lost and confused. Mark is right behind him looking even more lost and confused, eyes moving to look at Jaebum and Jackson in turn. 

“Look, I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Youngjae intentionally. I just wanted to let you know that Youngjae still has feelings for you and to be mindful of that, and I lost my temper,” Jaebum sighs. 

“I get it; you’re just looking out for him. I just didn’t think he’d still…you know.” Jackson shrugs helplessly, face screwed up in discomfort.

“…Do you like him back?” Jaebum asks softly. It’s a shot in the dark, but one that pays off judging by the look on Jackson’s face.

“No,” he gapes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Jackson says, blinking rapidly.

“Well, could you like him back?” 

Jackson throws his head back and sputters with eyes as wide as plates. For a moment he says nothing, instead he paces in a circle while waving his arms. 

‘Oh.’

“Hyung, I know you’re working hard on your comeback, but getting rest is important too. Sleep deprivation can be just as detrimental to brain functions as excessive drinking or even mild head trauma!” Jackson continues to ramble on. He’s in full bluffing mode and Jaebum doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry. He’s spent three years being so focused on Youngjae’s feelings that he hadn’t noticed Jackson’s.

Jaebum gets so lost in the shock of his discovery that he spaces out for what could be minutes or hours. He tries to make a plan of action, or at least an outline, but his mind remains blank. 

Eventually he blinks back into consciousness to see Jackson lightly panting in front of him. Mark is staring at Jackson, looking like he has something he wants to say, but he remains silent. Jaebum breathes in the cold, night air and slowly releases it before he speaks.

“Alright, it’s really late now; we should head back to the dorm.”

Jackson nods, looking a bit surprised. He turns to Mark – Jaebum catches him smoothing out his expression before Jackson can see it – and gestures him forward with his head. Then the three of them are heading back in perfect silence.

After Jaebum bids them goodbye, he starts to agonise over what to do next. Should he tell Youngjae or hide it from him? Should he push Jackson towards Youngjae or should he get him to suppress or redirect his feelings? Maybe he should get a second opinion. He’s not told anyone else about this mini-drama for years, but things are getting a bit too sticky to deal with on his own now.

‘Jinyoungie, I need your help.’

 

It’s late as fuck and Mark is exhausted from a long day of Korean lessons, dancing lessons, and martial art tricking lessons, but his mind is too active to let him rest. His roommate has no such problems. He has half a mind to throw his pillow at Jackson and wake him up, it is his fault he’s lying awake instead of getting a bit of rest before having to get up for another tiring day. The finer details of his conversation –argument really – with Jaebum went over his head, but he saw how prickly Jackson got after Jaebum mentioned Youngjae’s name and he knows what the word ‘likes’ means.

Mark originally intended to bring it up right after Jaebum left, but Jackson immediately jumped into the shower. After spending fifteen minutes trying to figure out what he would say to Jackson, Jackson returned from his shower and flopped onto his mattress, asleep before his head even hit the pillow. 

And now Mark is sitting in the dark, thinking of how Jackson has been acting around Youngjae since he returned to Korea. He had been aback by the huge bouquet of flowers Jackson bought for Youngjae shortly after they arrived, only to find out that it was just a belated graduation gift and that’s apparently a thing that’s done in Korea. Nobody else seemed to think it was weird so Mark let it go then, but now it’s driving him mad. Did Jackson only mean to congratulate a good friend and fellow schoolmate or did he take advantage of a local custom to slyly hit on Youngjae?

Mark closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. Even if he tries to talk about it with Jackson, the other boy would probably just shutdown the conversation like he did with Jaebum. And it’s not like he can talk about this with anyone else, so for now all he can do is stand back and watch Jackson and Youngjae. Turning onto his stomach, Mark forces his mind to be blank as he takes deep breaths until he finally falls asleep. 

 

“Jaebum-hyung, isn’t this too much?”

Although he was young Park Jinyoung was never naïve about how difficult the idol industry can be. Even after winning his audition, even after debuting with Jaebum-hyung, he never let himself get too comfortable. He enjoyed every minute of singing and dancing and performing with the other boy, and he basked in it as if it were his last. Maybe he got too relaxed after their comeback because he did not see this coming at all.

“What were we lacking as a duo to make them reassign us to a new group?” 

Ever-considerate Jaebum-hyung nudges at him to finish eating, but Jinyoung can hardly even stand the sight of food right now. It’s probably delicious, but trying to eat anything just makes him feel even more nauseous. It’s not like Jaebum-hyung isn’t mostly just picking at his food too.

“Well, on the bright side, at least Youngjae and Jackson are going to be in the new group with us,” Jaebum-hyung says around a bite of his ramen. 

Jinyoung knows Jaebum-hyung is just trying to be optimistic to make him feel better, but he doesn’t want to feel better, not right now. Now, he just wants to be upset about having the rug pulled from under his feet.

“Speaking of Youngjae and Jackson…”

Jinyoung looks up after the other boy has remained silent for a long time. Jaebum-hyung is sitting across from him, looking even more uncomfortable than he was moments before. 

“Yeah, what about them?”

“They’re…Um, you see they…”

“They what? Are they Sick?” 

“No.”

“Dying?”

“No!”

“Then what?”

“They, they like each other.” Jinyoung blinks.

“Okay.”

“No, I mean they like each other.” Jaebum-hyung waves his hands in a circle as if that means anything.

“O…kay. Why is this a problem?” After the bombshell that was just dropped on them, Jinyoung is surprised his hyung can be bothered by anything else right now, especially something that’s such a non-issue. 

“How is it not a problem?” Jaebum-hyung just restrains himself from exploding. He sits back in his chair and takes deep breaths, hands clenched on the table. Jinyoung gently pats Jaebum-hyung’s hands until they relax.

“Is this about your dongsaeng complex?” 

“My what?”

“You’re very protective towards Youngjae, and that’s great, but at times it can be a bit…much. Like, what is the problem with him dating Jackson? From what I’ve seen and heard, Jackson seems to be a decent guy. Is he secretly a serial killer or something?”

“No,” Jaebum-hyung says slowly.

“Then let it go, hyung. Jackson isn’t a terrible person and you can’t have objections about the two of them dating because they’re going to be in the same group. That would be very hypocritical of you,” Jinyoung says with a pointed look at their hands. Jaebum-hyung smiles sheepishly and drops his head. Jinyoung reaches out and pats him on the head.

“Your baby’s grown up, and that’s not a bad thing you know.” Jaebum-hyung takes hold of his hand and removes it from his head, but doesn’t let go of it.

“This new group doesn’t have to be a bad thing either. Let’s look at this as a new chance to be better and succeed.” Jinyoung still has his reservations, but he can’t help the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

“Alright,” he says softly.

“Good,” Jaebum-hyung smiles.

“Thank you. Without Jaebum-hyung I’d probably be lost.”

“Good thing you’ll always have me,” he grins. 

“So cheesy,” Jinyoung scoffs as he takes a bite of his ramen.

 

Jackson’s birthday falls on a Sunday, but he spends most of the day working anyway. Technically they have most of the day off, but being assigned to a group just made Jackson all the more determined to work harder. He’s one step closer to debut, but there’s lots more steps to go. All the fencing training he did in the past has built up his endurance, and he takes full advantage of this as he dances in the practice room. He’s not alone; the rest of the newly-formed GOT7 are with him, though Yugyeom and Youngjae are the only ones currently dancing with him. Mark is practising flips on the other side of the room, Bambam is stretching in the corner, and JB and Jinyoung are outside taking a water break.

After the music stops, Jackson flops onto the ground on his back. He’s sweating enough to make the floorboards underneath him grow mould, but he couldn’t care less. The bright fluorescent lighting is suddenly blocked as a towel falls onto his face. Jackson doesn’t bother to move until water is poured onto his face and he suddenly can’t breathe.

“Jesus Christ!” He jumps up, coughing and sputtering. Before he can say anything else, a cake is stuck right under his nose and the sounds of the six others singing happy birthday to him fills the room. Even though his nose is still burning from someone’s water-boarding attempt, Jackson is touched.

“Happy birthday, Jackson! Make a wish.” 

There are several things that immediately jump to mind, but looking at the six beaming faces in front of him, Jackson knows which one to choose. Mumbling under his breath in Cantonese, Jackson makes his wish and blows out the candles.

“Since you’re the birthday boy, you get the first and biggest slice of cake,” JB says as he retrieves a knife and paper plates.

“Shouldn’t the whole cake be mine?”

“Jackson-ah,” JB says pointedly, gesturing with the knife.

“Oh my God, Jaebum-hyung, are you really threatening my life because of cake?” Jackson asks, leaning back with a hand on his chest.

“And you’re all just going to let him do it?” Jackson asks the other five.

“Well, with you gone,” Bambam starts, “We’d get a bigger piece,” Yugyeom finishes.

Mark, the bastard, just smiles.

“Now, now, none of that. There’s no ‘murder’ in ‘team’,” 

“I’d protect you, Jackson-hyung,” Youngjae says shyly.

“You two are the only ones I can count on.” Jackson wraps an arm around Youngjae and Jinyoung. “For being such loyal supporters, your slices will be almost as big as mine.”

“Awww Jackson-hyung, don’t be like that.” Bambam hugs Jackson on the left.

“Yeah, Jackson-hyung, we were only joking.” Yugyeom cuddles him on the right.

“Who says you get to delegate cake slices?” If JB waves the knife around any harder it’ll slip out of his hand and kill someone.

“I’m the birthday boy; of course I get to cut the cake!”

“Calm down, everyone! We’ll decide who cuts the cake the same way we decide everything.”

Whoever came up with rock, paper, scissors has indeed left behind a great legacy. At times like these, Jackson wonders if they had an idea how widespread the game would become.

“But whoever wins still has to cut me the biggest piece because I’m the birthday boy, right? Without me, there would be no reason to have cake.” Some might say he’s being repetitive, but Jackson is going to fit for his right to the biggest slice.

“Alright, Jackson.” 

After several rounds of rock, paper, scissors it’s decided that Youngjae will cut the cake.

“Make sure my piece is the biggest, Youngjae,” Jackson says with a wink. Youngjae laughs, but nods his head and obliges. Jackson expects him to cut himself a similar sized piece, but he instead divides the rest of the cake evenly; how boring. Actually, his slice of cake is a bit smaller than the rest. Does Youngjae just not like cake? Even if he doesn’t like cake in general, Jackson doesn’t see how he could not like this cake, it’s so moist and delicious. 

“Come on, eat.” Jackson can’t stand to watch Youngjae pick at good food. He picks up a piece of the cake off Youngjae’s plate and holds it up to his mouth. Youngjae’s eyebrows jump in surprise, but he opens his mouth and lets Jackson feed him. There’s a weird moment where Jackson still has his fingers in the other’s mouth and they simply stare at each other, but then they blink and the moment is gone and Jackson is pulling his fingers out. 

“Mark, pass my water bottle.” Jackson licks the remaining icing off his fingers. 

“Here.” Mark hands him his water bottle with a strange look on his face. What’s his problem? Jackson goes back to eating his cake.

After they’ve all finished their cake, they warm up before going back to practice. They’re all a bit reluctant about dancing after having their treat, but Jinyoung tells them that they’re working off all the fats and sugars that laced the cake.

“You should dance the longest, Jackson. After all, you did get the biggest piece.” Jinyoung ducks behind JB before Jackson can catch him.

At around 8pm JB signals the end of practice, arguing that it’s better for them to take advantage of the day of to rest for the next day. Plus they could do something fun for Jackson’s birthday.

“I don’t really feel like doing anything in particular today. Maybe watch a movie,” he shrugs.

“Well, that’s what we’ll do then.” JB claps his hands and that’s their cue to gather their stuff and head back to the dorm.

“Can we get something to eat before we watch a movie? The last thing we ate was the cake and that was hours ago,” Jinyoung moans as they’re heading out.

“And the slices weren’t that big to begin with,” Bambam adds.

“I could eat,” Mark pipes up.

“Alright, what should we eat then? Me, I’m in the mood for something spicy,” JB says.

“Me too, that’s the best thing when it’s cold,” Yugyeom agrees.

“I’m Thai; I’m always in the mood for something spicy.”

“Um, are you guys forgetting something? I, the birthday boy if you’ve forgotten, can’t eat spicy food.”

“We don’t all have to eat together though. We’re together all the time anyway. We can split up to eat and then meet up back at the dorm,” Mark says.

 

“I suppose we could do that,” Jackson concedes.

 

“Alright, see you at the dorm,” JB says, leading Yugyeom and Bambam away.

Jackson is somewhat surprised to see Youngjae staying behind, he loves spicy food. Maybe his stomach is acting up; maybe that’s why he was picking at his slice of cake earlier. 

“So, where should we go?” Mark asks. 

“Uh, well, Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung showed me a place not too far from here where the food is cheap and delicious.”

“Great, those are my two favourite words. Lead the way, Youngjae.”

 

“So, was the cake my only present? Cause it was great, but I wouldn’t turn my nose up at anything else you bought for me,” Jackson says to Mark in English.

“With what money?” Mark snorts. “Do you have any idea how much that cake cost?”

“Alright, I’ll remember this attitude when it’s your birthday. Youngjae, you got me a present, right?”

“Uh, it’s not much but yes,” Youngjae turns and says in slightly halting English. 

“That makes you my favourite person right now,” Jackson beams. Releasing Mark’s waist, Jackson clings to Youngjae’s left arm like a manhwa character.

“Forget Mark, he’s not been treating me right anymore. Come on, Youngjae.”

 

They continue walking for a full five minutes before Jackson realises he hasn’t heard a word from Mark, not even a comment about how cold it is, which is all he complains about to Jackson these days. That’s quiet even for Mark. 

“Hey, Mark, are you dead?” Glancing behind him, Jackson doesn’t see anything of Mark, so he lets go of Youngjae and turns around fully. Still nothing.

“Where the hell did he go?” For a very irrational second Jackson worries that maybe Mark did die and they didn’t notice. Maybe he suddenly had a heart attack and is lying on the cold, hard ground, clutching his chest in pain. But just then his phone pings and he sees a text from Mark.

“ ‘Was gonna pay for dinner but realised my wallet was missing. Heading back to JYP to look for it. Get kimchi jigae for me. Be right back~’” Jackson reads aloud. He expects Youngjae to continue walking, but the other boy just groans and shakes his head. 

“Come on, Youngjae, it’s not getting any warmer and I’m not getting any less hungry.” Jackson nudges his arm, jolting him into action. 

It’s not much longer until they arrive at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that’s empty save for an elderly couple and a lone businessman. 

“Well, we know what Mark wants, what are you having?” Jackson asks.

“They have really good jjajangmyeon, it’s what I got when I first came here, and Jinyoung-hyung recommended it.”

“And would you recommend it to me?”

“Yeah, it was delicious, and it’s Chinese-based so you should like it. I want something spicy, so I’m going to get jjamppong.”

After they decide what they’re going to order, a slightly awkward silence descends over the two of them. It’s like that first study session after Youngjae’s failed confession all over again; they can’t even look at each other. What feels like an hour – really it’s been 15 minutes – passes before it hits Jackson that Mark isn’t coming back.

“Have we been set up?” he blurts out. Youngjae chokes a bit on his food, barely keeping himself from spitting his soup in Jackson’s face. 

“Did you know?” Jackson sounds much calmer than he actually feels.

“No, I was a little suspicious at first, but it wasn’t until Mark-hyung disappeared that I figured it out,” Youngjae coughs.

“So, what do we do now?”

“Finish eating?” Youngjae shrugs helplessly. His face is a bit red and he’s got a piece of green onion stuck to his front teeth; Jackson can’t help but laugh. Youngjae follows suit and it’s like they’re laughing away the awkwardness of the situation. They still don’t talk much afterwards, but the atmosphere is definitely more relaxed. Even though it’s his birthday, Jackson ends up paying for both of them. It’s a perfectly normal thing to do as the older one, but it also makes the whole thing feel more like a date, which is apparently what it’s supposed to be, but still.

They take their time on their way back to the dorm, neither in any kind of rush to get back. Glancing at Youngjae’s profile through the corner of his eye, Jackson wonders why he’s being so hesitant when he already knows Youngjae likes him. Taking a quick breath he reaches his hand out to grasp the other’s, hitting Youngjae’s thigh instead. Before he has time to question why, he feels a hand lightly bump the side of his face.

“Oh, sorry,” Youngjae chuckles nervously.

Realising what he just tried to do, Jackson chuckles as well before rolling his eyes and taking Youngjae’s outstretched hand and holding it between them as they walk back. Undeterred, Youngjae simply manoeuvres their hands so that his arm is wrapped around Jackson’s back and Jackson’s arm is wrapped around himself in a one-armed hug. Their joined hands are resting on Jackson’s other arm with their fingers laced. It’s not exactly a comfortable position for either of them, but he just rolls his eyes again and lets Youngjae do it. Jackson supposes that even if he’s not too bad at this sort of thing Youngjae will still be awkward enough for the both of them. Somehow he doesn’t mind.


End file.
